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A recap of Ricci the Greek's predictions

Ricci The Greek: Week 8
by: (Take your Medicine) Oct 26 12:26pm

Week 8 is here… almost the official half way point of the season… Will the guys at the top of the table hang in there? We shall see… its shaping up to be one of the strangest weeks ever out there in Fantasy Football with bye weeks wrecking havoc on almost everyone’s team. Good times… so lets do this!!!

Naked Drinking vs. Friction Free Living

Definitely some nice smack rolling here, and the nod goes to the champs, still undefeated, those that expose themselves while drinking in Chico… Loving the Ronnie Brown smack.. The game is going the same way, the exposed imbibers will take care of the now staggering “is there a draft in here?” guys. You know you’re having a bad week when your top running back spontaneously combusts ala Spinal Tap and then your other two running backs and your QB has a bye week? It’ll take more than Clooney and Walberg surviving the Atlantic this week… The perfect storm has hit Sacramento allowing K-Dog to get another FFL win.

Drunken F*** Bombs vs. Lettuce Engine

Smack is all bombers with a smack barrage that left the McEngine that wishes he could knowing he can’t. The Iceberg connoisseur continues his pathetic smack track record this week losing yet another smack contest. The game is a different story. I think I can I think I can I think I can… says the little engine… LT, Marshawn Lynch, Welker, AND Brady??? Are you kidding me? Is this team for real? How could he have lost three games already??? The Macengine rolls big with the victory.

Makin’ it Rain vs. He Who Smokes Bitches

Prince is out and he’s slapping the bitches, its all Purple Rain this week in the smack. After a great week of smokin’ smack talk Kevin G gives it up again… Whose the bitch now?? Another victory for symbol guy. The game is looking like more of the same. I love the Meteorologist WRs this week, and Peyton Manning should throw atleast 1 TD for every 3 commercials that you see with him pitchin’.

Now its time for a new addition to your fantasy preview… Yes folks that’s my SLUMP BUSTER PICK UP OF THE WEEK. You know, its 2:30 A.M., you’ve been drinking all night long and you are fucked up… you need the nookie and you need it now… Evil Brad appears and picks up the fattest chick in the bar and has his way with her. The lucky winner this week is Kevin G, with the hideous Cleo Lemon pickup. Lemon, the ugliest QB in the whole league this week is starting for the bitches in England minus Ronnie Brown against the Giant defense that only had 12 sacks against the Eagles??? I guess I have seen worse starts than this… uuuhh… actually I haven’t.

Yes Evil Brad, you tried hard, but were a couple tequila shots short in getting your slump buster. Yes, even Michael Bennett will have more points this week… and this means Rainmakers win big!

Brut Force vs. Domestic Violence

Did I mention that the bone is back? Thad may know the 10 seconds of death, but it seems like every week he is losing even more of his cherished mane. Wang Chung tries to fire back with some even more uncreative GED smack and clearly misses the mark. Another win for the Wife Beaters. The game is looking a lot different, especially if this foolish trade goes through. Would it be possible for conjugal hostility’s team to get worse? The answer my friends is absolutely. DV fans are lighting up the blogs, youtube, and myspace screaming for their version Matt Millen’s head. Look for another victory here for 80s cologne.

Dutch Picnic vs. Draft Dominator

Two of the worst smack talkers continue their combined incompetence, with the drug chokin’, legalized prostitutes pointing out they have a lot of players turning out on Monday Night. Really? That’s your smack talk? Hey there are a ton of stars in the sky too! Get with the program numbnuts… Now.. make me a sandwich… BIATCH! Honestly if there was a way to pick neither team this week I would. The Dominatirx combo of Holmes, Crotchery, Muhammed at WR is the gorilla fart of wr tandems… Have you had one? Trust me, it’s a disgusting drink. Not to be outdone the hoes with the RB duo of Jackson and Williams couldn’t beat the 2001 Golden State Warriors at tiddlywinks. I guess I am going to go with Dan, because he has a sweet pad in Sacramento.

Take Your Medicine vs. All About the Benjamins

Probably some of the best smack talkin’ of the week… The Medicine guys start it out and then get slapped down with the sweaty palms smack. The Doc and his boys return fire with some spanking smack only to be beat down with the TMI smackaroo… A much deserved victory for the bean counters. This is going to be a good game. Lots of bye week shanangins, with Romo, Bowe, and Crieghton out for Medicine and Larry Johnson and TO getting splinters from riding the pine for the Benjamins. The Chad Pennington pickup probably should have been a candidate for Slump buster of the week, but the QB free agent market is about as weak as Culpepper running the Raider offense for the last two weeks. QB advantage is all CBG, WRs are even, and RB advantage goes to the Doctor. The vote is split and these teams are evenly matched… Gotta say that momentum counts for somethin’… Its time… TAKE YOUR MEDICINE!!!!

Last Week’s Record:

3-3

Year Total:

22-8

Ricci the Greek Presents: Week 7
by: (Take your Medicine) Oct 18 5:36pm

Week 7 is already here and we’re gaining steam as we head to the half way point in the season. What a week by the proteinless ones… Yeah I’ll take that burger, no buns please… 210 points??? Utterly ridiculous!! Can he do it two weeks in a row… we shall see…

Lettuce Engine vs. Naked Drinking

Gotta love the unchallenged smack. Naked drinking rolls up another victory as Lettuce continues their losing smack ways this week with their seriously weak smack from last week. The farmer may have racked up a record win last week, but he his smack losing streak is already at 2. This game is an interesting one. Brady has been averaging 3 TDs a game so far, which is about as likely to continue as Fred Thompson is going to succeed Bush as President. However, he is playing Miami this week. The Miami defense couldn’t stop Calvin from peeing on a tree let alone any NFL run offense. Look for the Pats to cram it down their throats this week on the ground and for Brady to get no more than 1 passing TD. Did I mention this is LT’s bye week? Nice timing naked ones… Yes, lettuce, this week your already low nutritional value will come out as Peterson, Rudi, and Garcia are all going to have huge weeks. It’s a lettuce ass hat this week… Time to get Naked!!!

Makin’ it Rain vs. Drunken F*** Bombs

Once again smack Chac, the Mayan Rain God has got it right with the blueprint for success for week 7, using players that actually play good. Another smack victory for 2007!!! On to the game it looks like our friendly neighborhood rain master has finally done some work on the lineup. Unfortunately the changes just won’t be enough. As John Madden might say, a knee equals two feet…A bad back equals crap fantasy points and with Rhodes and Fargas in the wings I don’t see Jordan doing much this week other than getting a few massages up at the Winkin’ Lantern. The other Chac running back is Julius Jones, who has averaged a sizzling 44 yards a game. With a lineup like this it is no wonder that the Mayans handed their entire empire over to half a dozen illiterate, smallpox spreadin’ Spaniards. However, on the positive side I am not seeing half of the much heralded Raven offense on the roster anymore so we gotta applaud the improvements this week by the Rain God. He isn’t giving up, but will it be enough? I am afraid not. I am going all stealth this week and looking forward to some more carpet bombings of the FTA in Pakistan.

All About the Benjamins vs. He Who Smokes Bitches

Both of these teams are 500, but when it comes to smack they are both such nice guys, that they are going to get dumped, again. Not even an attempt at smack this week so both teams earn one for the L column. Team wise I love New Chuck City this week. Yep Nino Brown and the Cash Money brothers are back with a vengeance. With the smothers brothers rolling at WR with Wayne and Owens, plus Eli and Johnson (playing the unimpressive Raider run D) it doesn’t even matter that he hasn’t bothered to fill his two bye spots. The Biatches are looking good at RB, but will it be enough? Probably not. Look for a pre-kindergarten victory this week!

Friction Free Living vs. Dutch Picnic

Loving the Perpetual motion lotion emotion notion point prediction smack this week, slapping down the Dutch princess bye week bitchiness with a vengeance. That’s a 3 week streak for the love sprinkler and he shows no sign of needing cialis. The game is more of the same. Its all about living lubricated this week. Culpepper reminded people last week why the fish escorted him out of the building and even with the substitutions he should make this event all Glass Joe vs. Mr. Dream… Body Blow, Body Blow, Uppercut… KNOCK OUT!!! Underwear not required.

Domestic Violence vs. Draft Dominator

Domestic Violence occurs when a family member, partner or ex-partner attempts to physically or psychologically dominate another… and Dan got schooled this week literally given the swirley by the bone as he cruises to another smack victory. It’s a week of underdogs this week for me and I am actually digging the slap of love this week. Hester is hot right now and a nice pickup off the free agent market meanwhile Palmer is due for a huge game. Reggie Bush has begun a recovery and suddenly Kevin Faulk is number one in New England against the worst run D in the league??? Could it be true? It is the beatings will continue and T-Bone will finally taste some victory…

Take Your Medicine vs. Brut Force

Probably some of the most serious smack talking in this matchup, with the Great Spirit excising evil spirits with some hair tonic smack, only to be bitch slapped with the dirty diaper smack. However, you gotta hand the victory to Teo Leo and the Pharmacists… finally putting all doubt behind them with the Nevolo’s undies bitch slap. Now that was a painful blow. The game looks more of the same. McSuck is going up against the maligned Bear defense who will rack up sacks against the all new statue of sackerty. Even Kerry Collins wouldn’t let anyone sack him 12 times in a game. Hey McSuck, better call your mom because I think you may need some chunky soup. Meanwhile Romo is playing a Minnesota defense who couldn’t stop Brittney Spears from dropping her kids let alone the pissed off cowboy offense with something to prove. You people that voted for Nevolo’s Janitor are going to have to go to resource this week… Seriously guys… Harrison, who pulled his vagina a couple of weeks ago vs. Jax who always play indie tough, Bobby Engram (who?), and Jervious Norwood (averaging a sizzling 39 yards a game) vs. Johnson (vs. the pathetic Jets), Crieghton (who has been on fire), and Coles (against the bengettes Defense)??? The streak will go to 7… don’t forget to put the seat down…BITCHES!

Last Week’s Record:

5-1

Year Total:

19-5

Ricci the Greek Presents: Week 6
by: (Take your Medicine) Oct 13 2:25am

First I want to take a moment to thank the commish for bestowing the title of Sultan of Smack on me. It is truly an honor, because the smack is totally off the hook this year... This is going to be fun, and the best is yet to come…

Now… lets get on to WEEK 6 FOTHER MUCKERS!!!

Naked Drinking vs. Making it Rain

The smack here is classic, with the coppertone dawgs grabbing swimsuits and pulling out the Brenda Warner smack. I gotta hand the win to the derelicts, you know that Brenda Warner's crew cut will be so offensive I can't see how anyone else has a chance of winning. On to the game and its more of the same. The Medicine Men can continue banging their drums, but it ain't going to rain when you have Steve McPathetic at QB and a with the dynamic duo of Heap and Mason (good golly batman… WE SUCK!) You gotta wonder who has gotten into the Kool-Aid over in Mt. View. Meanwhile the binge boys have quietly put together a reasonable lineup. Edwards is suddenly looking like a starting fantasy WR, Jones Drew actually decided to don a uniform last week, and Peterson has been the man! It’ll be all about streaking the quad this week... I’m game!

Drunken F*** Bombs vs. All About The Benjamins

Smackwise it is no contest... The teret's guys take the week with the Chad Johnson smack. Hey Benji! IMBIBE... AGAIN!... I suppose those are the advantages of being the CBG. The game is a different story.. The B-52's are starting Brian Griese, whose play has not improved despite his recent sex change operation and at RB he has Ernest Graham who will be immediately supplanted at the goal line due to Gruden's man crush on ex-raiders; this week enter Zack Crockett. When picking a winner though you have to wonder, does the accountant even realize that Lewis is going Josh McCown with the injured paw? Regardless I am going all bean counters this week.

He Who Smokes Bitches vs. Brut Force

This is some of the best smack of the year... Vader comes in with the pitch and then the smokers nailed it out of the park! Any smack involving licking vagina while simultaniously lighting hair on fire? Probably going to win... Nice work HWSB!!! When you look at the game both these teams are freakin terrible... Steve Smith is going to be not getting passes because the new Panther QB is actually going to be George HW Bush. He's coming back from retirement and this time he is taking out Saddam! Unfortunately he will fail leaving the bitches wishing he had picked anyone other than Steve Smith with that first WR pick. RB edge is rolling with the cheap chologne this week because Betts/Jones duo may work in the WWE, but not in fantasy. I am going with the odiferous ones this week.

Lettuce Engine vs. Dutch Picnic

The fertilizer boys come out of the gate with the less than creative gay picnic smack, but the Euro Picnateers fired back…well enough in fact to earn a much needed smack victory. As the weeks go on I keep feeling a tremor in the force. Its like every time they add a new actor for Star Trek XI the ethanol fired machine gets stronger. Brady is on fire and could throw 1000 TDs this year. Meanwhile someone added something to LT's cherrios because suddenly he realized he is a running back! For the Chargers!!!. Meanwhile Stallworth’s strained anterior labial commissure has insured that Welker will continue to pile up the points. All I can say for the Dutch is that it must feel good to have gained your independence from Spain in 1648. I don’t see anything else significant happening for you anytime soon.

Friction Free Living vs. Draft Dominator

Smack here is all pantyless ones… With some old school Germanic attire smack. I continue to scratch my head, yet FFL keeps racking up smack victories… Gamewise this is looking like a great game. I hate Damon Huard this year, mostly because he is a Chef, but also because his coach is the black Norv Turner. However, he is playing the Cincy D which is a heck of lot better at Domestic Violence than playing football, so even HE should produce this week. Meanwhile Cam Cameron can’t win a game, but he HAS managed to master the difficult art of transfiguration, mysteriously transforming Ronnie Brown into LT. Hopefully D squared will realize that Boldin is hurt or this could be really humiliating. Drafty skirts with the victory!

Take Your Medicine vs. Domestic Violence

Smack is fairly even; Your local dealer pissing out a golden shower only to be beat down with (ewww) anal seepage smack. Gotta hand that stinky crown to the bone. Yeah he went there. The game looks to be a totally different story. Tbone’s running backs are more likely to spend the weekend up at the neverland ranch cuddling than score any points. I like the Palmer vs. KC matchup, but I also like Romo having to throw it 100 times against the cheaterpants as well. WRs are all crack pimpers, RBs go the same way.. another easy one for the Physician’s Assistant.

Last Week’s Record:

6-0

Year Total:

14-4

Fantasy Preview Week #5
by: (Take your Medicine) Oct 4 12:35pm

Thank goodness for a few posts and a little bit of activity in the Pinecrest league... Things are settling out in the league with the haves and the have nots getting defined... As much as things change EJ, Dan, and myself at the top of the league, things stay the same with Tbone circling the toilet. The smack is beginning to flow, the Raiders are beginning to win, and the whiners are starting to lose... Lets try to keep things in perspective and go ahead and look into Week five in the PFFL...

Naked Drinking vs. All About The Benjamins

On to the Smack, and its the guys they like to nourish themselves sans clothing pulling it out, beating down the obsessed parents with their unchanged since week 1 smack. The game is looking different. I am not sure what has happened to the boys from chico, but it seems they have moved to San Francisco for a sex change operation. This team is terrible: a QB who is running to the toilet like a wife with morning sickness, WRs who couldn't play on my daughter's pop warner team, and RBs half of which won't even be the number one on their teams this week. Yep.. its going to be New Chuck City this week... Its all about the money...

Drunken F*** Bombs vs. Brut Force

One of the best smack matchups of the week.. Its tough to pick a winner, but the wash your mouth out with soap guys went Gap band on Thad, dropping a bomb on him. A Trophy Run indeed! The game will follow the same pattern, the only Brute force in use here is forcing his starters... Calvin Johnson, hurt Vagina... Marvin Harrison a pair of pulled boobs, Jervious Norwood 124 yards for 2007 at the flex?, Frank Gore whose your QB????? Its going to be pitiful.. Not even sure why we play this one... Potty Mouths victorious..

Makin' It Rain Vs. Dutch Picnic

Smack is looking nice here as well.. I am giving the nod to those that seed the clouds with the Mrs. Jones smack... You are right she is the man! This is another game of garbage... I mean who is worse here? Do I look at Drew Brees who has been trying on skirts at baby gap for the last month or Lawrence Moroney who is best known for making Sammy Morris look like a featured back. Who is to be feared at WR? Rowdy Roddy White, Greg Jennings?, the underarchieving Tory Holt? I could go on, the bottom line here is niether team should win this game. Do I steer clear of the weather men due to their Baltimore wieghed recieving core? or go with the Yogi's running duo... Oh well.. I guess its all picnic because I really feel like grubbing right now.

Draft Dominator vs. Lettuce Engine

Smack talk here just never happened so they both rack up one in the L column. This looks like a solid game... QBs that could rack up +1s in their sleep, RBs that are at least even, and a decent WR core... I am leaning Farm bitches in this one... the Brady / Welker vs. Cleveland matchup is just too mouthwatering to pass up.

Friction Free Living vs. Domestic Violence

We have some smack in this matchup and its all those without pants, painting those toenails with some classic eye color smack. Eye color smack? Come on you guys... Unbelievable. This game unsurprisingly is all swinging testicles giving the beat down to the wife beaters at every position... the only person calling 911 this week lives in Stockton... Although that is pretty much the norm there anyway right?

Take Your Medicine vs. He Who Smokes Bitches

Definitely a weak smack exchange here, but the medicine men dance all over the chain smokers taking home yet another W. On to the game its more of the same.. in the QB matchup the medicine plays doctor all over Jason Campbell, while on the RB side has a huge advantage with Betts not even getting 100 yards the entire season! The WRs on paper its all pharmacy, but in reality I think that the ahhh smokers might have an edge. At the end of the day I predict Tequila Domination.

Thats it for this week.. I have to roll, but I will get my records for last week posted in a few..

Last Week:

4-2

Year Total:

8-4

Ricci The Greek Wk 4...
by: (Take your Medicine) Sep 29 11:47am

Back from Jolly old England... Looking forward to another weekend of fantasy football... Whats not to love here... its the best season of the year so lets get to it...

Brut Force vs. Naked Drinking

Smack is hard core here with the streakers running the using too much of your shit stuff... Its all about going scarfaace so the clothless inebriates get the edge here with yet another smack victory. The game on the other hand is looking pretty crappy. Gotta give the perfume guys the edge at QB due to McSuck finally showing the numbers last week that he is capable of and playing a pitiful Giant Defense. Wide Recievers are equally bad here.. The bootie shakers number 1 WR Edwards playing Baltimore isn't looking great, but then the you look at the 10 seconds of death and he has equally crap on the other side. The RB edge is also heading in the Black Belt perfumary's direction... The winner - I am going with the Cologne Jedis in a big win.

Domestic Violence vs. He Who Smokes Bitches

Smack battle goes to the wife beaters all the way with some Mona Lisa esque smack that makes up for last week's debacle. Beyond that the game looks like a pretty good one. The ketchup stained shirts have a solid edge at QB even with the tough matchup. I see Cincy behind early in this one and throwing a lot, should be good for old RR Palmer. The WR advantage goes to the tokers with one of the best threesomes in the league this year. I also like the female dogs RBs in this one. We're going flaming bitches in this one...

All About the Benjamins vs. Dutch Picnic

Smack here is non-existent. You both lose. Sucks to be you guys. The game is all about the money with solid advantages in QB and WR. I also like his Defense matchup with KC showing us all how pathetic they really are capable of being this year. This week... must be the money!

Draft Dominator vs. Makin' it Rain

Smack again is weak here, but Makin' it rain wins it with the Norv Turner smack.. That guy sucks. Have I mentioned I love AJ Smith! I give the QB edge to the Romans here with Farve having a great matchup against Min. Shanarat gives Manning fits so I think that will keep his numbers down. I also love the open windows RBs this week. I am going with the Window specialists this week in a close one.

Lettuce Engine vs. Friction Free Living

Smack goes all the way to the underooless ones with the solid tossed salad remarks... The dual entandra there gives him a solid victory once again. very nice. I actually like Farmer Bob in this game. I love the Brady vs. Cincy matchup and I think that Tomlinson gets back on track finally this week. I am also seriously digging on the Baltimore defense vs. Clevland. Its Eboli curators all the way this week.

Take Your Medicine vs. Drunken F-Bombs

For the smack here its a close one with the Fart Clouds making the first hit with the Euro Trash quips and the Dr. pulling out the 1989 Saturday Night Live smack. I am loving the Romo vs. STL matchup in this one. WRs and and RBs look pretty even. To me this one will come down to Defense and Flex performances.. If Kenny Watson has a huge game the F-bombs will roll. However the medicators will pull this one out for their fourth in a row.. Its all Tequila in week 4!

Last Week's record (actually week 2)

4-2

Fantasy Preview Week 2....
by: (Take your Medicine) Sep 13 12:36am

Its that time again... Time for Ricci the Greek to don the sweater and get ready to make some predictions... its a tough gig, but something that I am certainly ready for 2007...


Hewhosmokesbitches vs. Naked Drinking

One of the first issues I always have to discuss is the quality of the smack. For our first matchup the those who lacked clothing sent the hoes to the Goodwill if you know that I am saying.. nice Mr. Nudeypants! On to our matchup. QBs in this game are SORRY. Vince "There's no one with talent on my team" Young vs. Matt Hasselsuckmycock... If there is any edge at all here it goes to the Malboro Man because at least against Arizona he will see the ball. Unlike with the smack it will be the steaming skanks who will walk out with the win due to their great WR core and solid RBs.

Drunken F*** Bombs Vs. Domestic Violence

When you talk smack the its advantage inebriated vulgarities... with the wife beaters having some of the sorriest pussy whipped smack I have ever seen. The game won't be much different as the only equality in the match up is at the QB position with both Palmer and Kitna playing teams that either focus on run defense (Min) or will turn the ball over 100 times (Cleveland). Beyond that the obsenities will dominate huge... Potty Mouths will be victorious!

Brut Force vs. Draft Dominator

Well the boys from Fabergé are looking good schmacking the bondage queens with ugly precision. Moving on to the game it follows the same pattern, with the power of 80s cologne with advantages across the board from QB (McSuck can't be that bad two weeks in a row)to wideouts and RBs. In a snoozer look for another big L for the whipping boy.

Friction Free Living vs. Allaboutthebenjamins

Time for some smack discussion, must be the money was definitely videoing some defensive calls because he KOed the underpantsless one early and often. This is one of the more interesting matchups of the week. The upskirts have the definite edge at QB abd RB and the G-Money looking great at WR and the Flex. I think that the Johnson / Foster / Smith trio will end up finishing off any chances that the money might have had this week. I am going with the New Orleans Oral fetish in a close one.

Lettuce Engine vs. Makin' it Rain

Another lopsided smack battle with Pacman Jones and his wrestling buddies pulling the cheater cheater pumpkin eater card. The matchups lean all the way to the Cloud seeders here with manning playing against the pathetic Titans, strong WRS, and the awesome Lamont Jordan pick up. Look for the losing streak to continue for the farmboys from Salinas.

Take Your Medicine vs. Dutch Picnic

The Doctor is in delivering a lack of creativity blast that Yogi and his friends didn't bother to respond to. Looking at the strengths of the teams the advantage is looking towards the Doc with strong WRs and RBs and a QB that totally overperformed last week. I am going with the Doc in a blowout...

And thats the week to be... See you next week.